Let go Mum, I'm trying to write an introduction. Mum! I'm all grown up now...

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<< Back to Female Travel Advice  Telling the folks

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Parents and gap years Okay, so you’ve decided to take a gap year. One of the first things you’ll need to do is tell your parents. Otherwise they’ll expect you to go to university in September and be mildly puzzled to find you still sitting on their sofa watching Hollyoaks and eating Crunchy Nut Cornflakes from the box. Bear in mind that the parental reaction may not be wholly positive. Parent-types are notoriously protective of their daughters. Your mum may not mind the fact that your brother is a promiscuous professional lion-tamer living in a war-zone and travelling to work on a Harley, but tell her you’re thinking of backpacking round Europe and expect her reaction to be apoplectic. So, how to go about talking to your parents about your gap year? The key is to get them involved. Talk to them earlier rather than later: don’t wait until you’ve decided all the details of your trip. Some gappers think it’ll be reassuring for their parents to know they’ve got it all worked out in advance, but most parents find this a bit daunting. They’d much rather be involved from the early stages. Be prepared to explain why you want to go travelling, and to show that it’s not a waste of time. Travel teaches all sorts of important skills, like self-reliance, organisation skills, getting on with people from different cultures and money management. Many employers appreciate this and understand that well-travelled people are generally well-rounded too. Phew. Once you’ve done this, let the ‘rents start getting involved with your preparation. Leave guidebooks lying around. Tell them if you’ve read about a great hostel or must-see attraction. Keep them updated on your plans, and hopefully they’ll soon be feeling excited for you. This policy of openness may give rise to some embarrassing moments. ‘Yes, Mum, I know not to go with strange men. Yes, I’ve packed condoms and I know how to use them. What do you mean, how do I know?’ However, it’s important to let your parents air their worries. The next stage is almost as bad. Let your parents meet the person or people you’ll be travelling with. This is almost as bad as bringing your first boyfriend home, but unless your proposed travel-mate has an excessive number of visible tattoos it’s reassuring for them to meet him/her. You could even introduce your parents to your travel-mate’s parents, so they can share any news you send home. Almost finally, prepare all the tools you’ll need for keeping in touch. Set your parents up with an email account if they don’t have one: if you don’t have internet access at home they can use the library or an internet café. If they’ve never used email before, it’s time to teach an old dog some new tricks. Suggest that they get you one of those phone-cards which allow you to phone home at their expense - promise only to use it in an emergency if necessary. Click here >> to find out about these One thing you should never do is promise to ring at the same time every week. When you’re travelling this isn’t always possible, and they’ll only worry if they’re left waiting by the phone. Finally, leave a post-it with gapyear.com’s address on it stuck to the computer. You’ll probably get home to find they’ve gone on a gap year of their own... Click here >> for our section for older gappers Click here >> for advice aimed at parents of gappers

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